Forever Gone

         The last time that I saw his face was may 6^th 2009, the last time I heard his voice was the next night. I never thought that it would be my very last.  

the small man in the top left is my dad. when he was younger.

         I remember waking up may 7^th 2009, wondering why someone was banging on my front door. I walked down stair, very sleepily, and saw who it was.  It was Jeremy Feldman, a volunteer firefighter. I was still really confused.  Ma, went to the door freaking out because my brother had just left.

         Jeremy had the WORSE news that anyone could give our family. He told us that my father had been in an accident, and had been killed.

         I just remember, “Your father told me that if anything happened to him, that I was to be the first person to tell you,” he said.

         I remember hearing a scream from the kitchen, and my sister falling to the floor, all I could do was hold her, and try to get her to stop screaming. There is nothing like sitting there holding the person that you love, while she is screaming without breathing because she lost her dad.

         Jeff may have only been my stepfather, but he treated me like his own. He was born May 3^, 1969, in California. He was an avid bull rider, hunter, and fisherman. He cared about the people around him, including his dogs.

         He cared about my sister, brother and I, not knowing how things were going to turn out before he died. I remember all the stories that he told me about his deployment to Germany for the Army, his bull riding experience, and all his fishing trips.

         I never thought that he would be gone before I was married, he was supposed to be there for me when I needed him most, through thick and thin, forever and always, he was my daddy-o.

         Going to his funeral, was the worse day in my life.  Right then and there I saw him, he was gone, gone from all the horror of the world, gone from all the hate and sickness.  He would never be coming back.

         Sitting there, hearing the songs that we picked out for him, Cow-girls Don’t Cry, American Soldier, Copenhagen Angel, and Country boys Can Survive, I remember people telling me, that everyone heard those songs and lost it.

         The flag ceremony, and the shooting of the guns at the burial sight, I don’t remember much, because I was bawling with my mom.

in the back. at the top on the left is my dad.

         Watching them hand the flag to my sister, made me lose it even more, after it was all said and done, I walked over to my sister and held her, and told her “I will always be here for you, no matter what. We may fight and bicker, but you are my sister. I love you, forever and always.”

          I am a senior now, and he is gone. He’s not going to be there for me when I graduate, or even when I turn eighteen, never again will I see him.

         Even though he can’t hear me, I want him to know I love him, and miss him. He will forever be my Daddy.