I am seventeen years old; I shouldn’t have to be worried about all the things around me. I should be worried about if I got my homework done or what I am going to wear tomorrow to school, not if my parents are going to fight tonight or if I am going to have food in the house. I definitely shouldn’t worry if I will get a phone call from the jail to tell me that my father is there again.
I just want to be a normal teenager, play sports, hang out with friends, and go to school. I hate the fact that I never know what is going to happen next. I wish that all my worries would go away, and I could go back to being myself.
I truthfully wish that I could help my mom out, she does everything she can for us, and we do nothing in return. I know she that she is trying to stay tough for her family, but I know deep down inside she desires help she needs help. I just wish that I could do something, and that my sister would do something.
Since I’ve told Larry (my dad) that I never wanted to see him again, he’s went back to his brainless ways. Ever since I could remember he was never there, he was always in and out of prison, not being there for my brother and I. I’m not saying that I want to see him again or talk to him again, but I want him to be there for my brother when he needs him. Maybe giving him a second chance will help him turn around and go back to being sober and clean.
I’m very upset with myself that I can’t help my mom, that my father is pretty much a low life bum. There’s not much that I can do to help but I will surely try to do everything in my power to help.
Wow... I am a senior as well, and let me tell you, everything you wrote, is my life exactly. I know exactly how you felt when you wrote this. Words can't explain the feelings I had gotten when I read this. I got tears.
ReplyDeleteIm also 17 years old, I work a job to pay for everything I need. My dad doesn't pay child support and is never around. My mom and my step dad do everything they can for us. I live in a house with 7 kids, and no help from the other parents. So money is always tight, and you don't really get anything. I do everything I can for my parents and my family. I make sure things are done around the house, and I make sure I have money to pay for the things I know they can't. My dad hasn't really been apart of my life for 3 years. My little brother goes out to see him, but my dad like ignores him. So its hard, I know what you mean about certain things in you writing, I can relate. Just be strong and show your family that you can pretend to be ok. Its the best thing you can do for your sibling/siblings. You have to show then no weakness.
I could really relate to your post, and it makes me sad but relieved at the same time. Sad because NO ONE should have to go through that, but relieved that your making that best out of it. I was raised with an alcoholic mother that chose drinking over me. I always had to be the adult when I would go stay with her. I would put her in bed, feed her, and bathe her. I finally had enough of all the hard times and in 8th grade walked out. I finally stood up to her and its sad to know she still doesn't realize why I left. I have lived with my dad ever since and things have been much better but I will never forget all those nights of not knowing if I was going to make it to the next day. My mom and I didn't talk much for awhile. She moved to Ames which is three hours away so she could be closer to her family. I still go and see her and talk to her when she is suitable to talk. I wish I could help her, but you can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved. I feel like I am lucky to have gone through what I did. It made me a stronger person. I hope you can someday see that things do get better and that the world isn't only made up of bad things but good things too.
ReplyDeleteHey Stormi!
ReplyDeleteSo i can really relate to you. My childhood has been taken away from me. My step dad was abusive and he made us do everything around the house and we could never do anything. My mom finally got a divorce and turned into a single mom and as one of the older kids out of the 5 in the house i was stuck helping. She would go to work in the morning while i woke up and fed the kids and made sure they were ready for school. I would make sure the house would stay clean and even if i just wanted one lazy day i would get told i was ungrateful and never help around the house. I always had to lend her money to help pays bills and i would never get paid back. Now my dad was never around either he was always in jail and he left me and my sister when i was about 6 months old. He has never been around and now that im 18 he is trying to make it up but he cant fix it. I moved out and live with my boyfriend now and i have time to live my senior year. I can be a teenager now even though its a little to late. I hope everything works out for you in the end. I will pray for you. GOD BLESS